Vermont: Part 2

July 26, 2007
On My Own
I had a hard time sleeping, a mix of fear,and excitement. I was still nervous about this whole experience, but Vermont seemed pretty nice. I woke up and decided to skip breakfast and just have couple cups of coffee, and a few smokes. I got ready for the day, tried to pick out an outfit that was presentable, but with less fabric than the day before. We are supposed to start the day with a meeting, but the vans had been broken into overnight. I see this as a blessing, because as part of the meeting, the new people are supposed to recite the "spill" and I don't know it yet. I take this time to get to know some other members of the crew. Every day it becomes painfully obvious how much I stand out. These kids come from all over, some of them are just ridiculous!! The way they speak, dress, just an overall sketchy appearance, I sure as hell wouldn't by magazines from them. The first drop was with Lisa, I was under the impression that I would be shadowing her again for the day. We went to the first home, she eagerly chatted up the Jones, sold him on some nature subscriptions. We left, she handed me the order, pointed out where she thought I should go and told me to get a bunch! I am not amused. Im not ready to go out on my own am I? No way, I cant do this on my own yet!! Being a good agent and still wanting to make a good impression, I went on my way....I quickly discovered that selling magazines was a lot harder than Lisa made it look.

I was nervous, I knew what to say, I just didn’t know in what order...I’m jumbled, people look at me with sympathy, or annoyance what happened to this girl? Why is she doing this? I’m embarrassed. I spend the rest of the drop wandering around, looking at my clock, anxiety kicks back in I’m not good enough, I’m so bad at this, why don’t people want to buy from me? What am I doing wrong? This is my first day and I’m already beating myself up. I must stay positive....like the managers and car handlers tell you every second of every day...BE POSITIVE!! I find it almost impossible to be positive when Im about to die from dehydration. I feel ridiculous asking people for water, so I wander off T and stumble upon a medical office. I hesitate, what if someone asks questions? What if I get in trouble? These pestering anxieties quickly vanish as I see the water fountain right inside the door. I go in, drink to my hearts desire, use the restroom and hurry to get back to my T. I learned quickly that anytime a bathroom presents itself, you take advantage of it no matter where it is, because you never know when you'll be able to use one again.

I still have the one order Lisa got for me,but had no luck securing one on my own. Look at the clock, its almost time for us to meet up with the car handler. I go to the meeting place and announce that I was unsuccessful getting an order of my own. Lisa assures me this is no big deal, everyone has issues on their first time alone. Easy for her to say, seeing as she picked up 3 orders while I was gone.

We are picked up, Lisa is given praise! She is 'high in the car' at this point. She gets to sit up front and smoke. Again, I am jealous. After picking up the rest of the crew we are rewarded with getting to go to lunch! Normally we didn't get to eat lunch until after the second (or sometimes third) drop! Since the vans had been broken into, we had gotten a late start. I got my food and sat with Tony and Lisa. Since we were not allowed to talk to each other about what happened on the Drop, Lisa and Tony grilled me about where I came from. The only time we were ever allowed to talk about Drops is if we were talking about Jones' we had slammed. Interestingly enough, the most tell worthy stories came from people who had tried to talk some sense into us,or were just downright crazy. I tell them my life as it was supposed to be. Went to college, wasn't in an emotionally abusive relationship,had a great relationship with my family, ect. I thought if I said it out loud it might come true.

Carl kept a close ear on the crew at all times to make sure we weren't being negative and talking about things we shouldn't be talking about. If someone tried to talk about an encounter with a Jones, sometimes he wouldn't even have to harshly remind them to shut up about it unless there was a slam involved. The rest of the crew was so used to being muted they would jump on anyone suspected of speaking forbidden words. I find this unbelievably strange. If you had a hard time with a Jones, wouldn't it be a good idea to hash it out with the 'Old Heads'? Wouldn't it be good to get advice on what to do to avoid that situation in the future? I quickly learned that it doesn't matter what a lowly agent thinks, management does all your thinking for you.

We finish eating and are taken to the next drop. I'm dropped with Tony. The van pulls away and he leads me down a side street and offers me a smoke. Lisa had already told me that smoking in plain sight on T is a serious no-no. You never want the Jones' to see you. Worse yet, your car handler could drive by at any time and catch you in the act and assume you're slacking. Tony assures me everyone does this, and if we got caught I wouldn't get in trouble because I'm new. We smoke and chat, the neighborhood we are in is full of old Victorian houses. I catch an earful about how this is 'rip' and I can most certainly get a bunch over here.

We finish smoking and part ways. I walked a couple of blocks to evaluate my T. After 3 blocks of being unsuccessful, I wander off my assigned T and run into another agent named Bird. This young man wasn't a day over 19, claimed he was a war veteran, and was one of the most annoying people I've ever met in my entire life. I found him on the tail end of a conversation with a Jones, who was threatening to call the cops on him. He sees me and we take off together in the opposite direction. He eagerly asks me if I want to knock together. At first I am thoroughly disgusted that he is propositioning me for sex, then I realize he means knock doors together. While sometimes successful for both agents involved, this is a highly forbidden practice. You can intimidate the Jones by having two people show up, and increase your chances of getting the police called on you. If you're a good pair of agents, you can each slam the Jones' and call it a day. I decline his offer and go back to my T.

I come across a beautiful, red Victorian house with white shutters and a white picket fence. Typical, I know, but I thought I might have some luck with this house. I ring the bell and a nice older lady comes to the door. She hears my spill through her old style screen door, stops me halfway through, offers me some water, and comes outside. At this point I think I have the deal. She comes out, we sit on her swinging love seat, and asks me to hear her out. Oh god, I think. I've upset her, I've offended her, oh god! Shit!!

She looks me in the face and says, I can see so much sadness in you. I don't know what could have possibly made you come so far away from home to try and sell people magazines. You're such a pretty girl, so charismatic! You should be putting your skill into something productive!! I am almost in tears because she is so right. The tears are suppressed by the mounting fear of how late it was getting, the drop was almost over. Her house was facing the main road, what if Carl drove by and saw me 'slacking'? I hadn't picked up an order, and I've been with this Jones for over twenty minuets!!!! If you spend more than ten minutes with a Jones, you are expected to have slammed. We are constantly reminded "If you're talking to the Jones, don't talk for free!!"

I try and shake these racing thoughts out of my head so I can attempt to justify to this woman(and myself) why I'm here. I want to see the country! I want to meet new people! A line I soon become so familiar with. She pretends to accept my bullshit and I bid her good day.

I hastily get back to the meeting place. Tony has picked up one order, giving him 2 on the day. I have 'blanked' this drop, meaning I didn't get anything. Carl is gentle, but stern about how I should be using my looks to my advantage. There is no reason someone like me should be blank on drops. Lisa is also berated, she only picked up one order this drop. She is still high in the car, but she is told to pick it up, go to work! Set a better example!! She is also blamed for my shortcomings. Since I am her trainee, my actions(bad or good) are her actions. The last drop approaches, I am dropped in another apartment complex. This is done as a favor to me, so I can get a bunch before the end of the day.

As I'm dropped, I see Steves van is there as well. This is not uncommon. Both vans will drop multiple agents in a T to see who is 'the best'. Bird, Tony and myself are put here along with Lisa's sister, Sarah. Sarah has SIX orders on the day, and is obviously high in Steves car. We all split up, and time is of the essence. This is the shortest drop of the day. Its eight thirty and getting dark. Something about the humidity and searing hot temperature of Vermont has made the mosquitoes mutate to an unbelievably large size. I have WELTS on my legs from them biting me. As the sun goes down it only gets worse. Insect repellent would be a great investment. That day it was at least eighty degrees out with eighty seven percent humidity, so again, I am soaked through my clothing, dehydrated, exhausted, aching feet...miserable. I just need to pull it together and get through is drop....because guess what's next? MONEY:FOOD:SHOWER!!!!!!!!!

The first few houses I was unsuccessful. A mix of no one answering, no one who was interested, and a slew of the ever dreaded NO SOLICITING signs. I knock on the next one, and a man in his forties answers. I immediately get the creeper vibe from him. Initially, we are taught to spill from the porch, and if it goes well, ask to come inside. I didn't even have to ask, Creeper invited me right in with that super creep smile. I politely decline, since I really wasn't in the mood to get raped, but play on his hospitality for a BOTTLE of water. Accepting anything that isn't factory sealed from a stranger is,duh, dangerous. Especially when your a mildly attractive girl in her late teens knocking on the door of a pervy, lonely man at almost nine o'clock at night. He fetched the bottle, I finish my spill, he writes me a check. Really? That's it? You're just going to hand me a check. No resisting, no personal questions, just like that? I thank him and I'm on my way. As soon as I'm out of sight of Perv, I do a little victory dance. After a long, hard day of getting nothing, I was so very excited to get my own order.

I go to the next door, another creepy man answers. I can see over his shoulder that his house is full of scuba gear. Spill,chat,CASH. What? Really? I guess he really liked the scuba subscription I recommended to him, or he was just so hypnotized by my lady parts he couldn't say no to shelling out eighty dollars in cash for a magazine he was probably never going to get. Not that I was dressed like a hooker, I could just tell having a semi attractive young girl knock on his door wasn't an everyday occurrence. I thank him, did another dance, and headed back to the meeting place. Sarah is already there, she hadn't been as fortunate as I on this drop. She informs me that I 'dragged' her. Boo hoo, I think, you have six whole orders! If I had six orders I'd take this drop off!!

We were told to be back at the meeting place at nine thirty, its a quarter to ten and we are not picked up. This is another common practice. You'd better be where they tell you to be when they tell you to be there, but its perfectly fine for the car handlers to be ten,fifteen, even thirty minutes late to pick you up. Sometimes they are late waiting on other agents who had ignored the specified meeting times. Other times they are late because they are busy engaging in sexual activity with local girls. This time they were late because they were busy smoking weed,which was painfully apparent from the overwhelming stench in the van when it finally arrived,quarter past ten.

I am not amused in the least. Its ten o'clock at night. Its dark. There are at least two pervy old men less than two hundred feet away from where Sarah and I are waiting. Two young girls, miles away from home, left alone on a dark street in a strange town late at night. I keep this thought to myself.

Back at the hotel, we check our orders, get money, and wooooooohoooooooooooooooo get some food!! I notice I'm low on smokes...I've turned into a chain smoker. Damnit! I get two more packs. Just when I thought I was going to be able to relax after my shower, Lisa calls me to her room. This nonsense again? I was not using the spill she provided me the night before. Maybe that was my problem? Maybe if I had paid attention to the task at hand I would have done better that day. Wait...I thought the task was to sell as many magazines as humanly possible? She reminds me that I need to have this learned by the morning, or its both our asses.

Its nearly midnight by this time. Everyone is sequestered to their rooms. Let me correct that,* A* room. Its natural for romances to blossom on a co-ed crew who spends so much time together, as proven by our five month pregnant crew mate, Audrey. Audrey had been knocked up by a guy who was on another branch of the crew who was in a different city. Despite her condition, Audrey was expected to work in the same horrible conditions as the rest of us. Walking around for up to twelve hours a day, in the brutal heat, carrying a child. If you had at least five orders on the day, you were allowed to sleep in a room that was not your own. Obviously, Audrey was a great seller. My Russian roommate, Paula, had also managed to find love on crew, so she was sleeping with her beau, and Sarah was no doubt in Steves room. I had the room all to myself. I try and cram as much of the spill as possible. Its not working out, I'm too tired. I fall asleep thinking the same thoughts as the night before: Can I really do this? What have I gotten myself into?


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